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| Last trip with friend to Chicago Museum of Natural History |
As I told everyone in my first post my teenage daughter is a mom. We found out when she was fourteen, that she was pregnant. When she decided that the path chose for her, would be the one she would follow. I explained to her there would be changes. She really couldn't imagine how profound those changes would be. As the days pass, months slide by, and now it's been over a year since the little guy was born, her friends are no where to be found. Those friends she spent everyday with, hanging out at each others house, Friday night football games, bowling, movie nights with all her friends. Now Friday nights are spent watching sitcoms with mom and calling it a night by eight thirty. If she takes a trip to Wal Mart on the weekend, it's as if I've drove twenty two hours and shes at the Disney World Resort, Orlando. And now instead of fashion, and talking with friends about which guy is the flavor of the week, we discuss her education and her five year plan. And as for that fellow that was on my porch agreeing this would be difficult and there would have to be a tremendous amount of sacrifice on everyone's part, well. He spends everyday hanging out with his friends, discussing whats new for x box, movie nights with his friends, gaming nights and the occasional party. The last stop he makes, when there's nothing really to do, and all of his friends are busy, is our house. I truly wonder if she feels like she's lost everything through this, or if she understands this is the sacrifice we make as parent's. And that no one person will ever love her as much as her son. She never complains about sitting home or the fact she is alone. She never shows any interest in any of her classmates or discusses the topic of dating or an interest in having a relationship, at some point. She's never on the phone or the computer. I believe she has this mind set that she'll be rejected, or just not fit in, if she dare socialize. I am very proud of the parent she has become, but is that enough.
It's crazy how life changes, and people mature. I've seen how life changes, when a teenager becomes pregnant. My cousin was pregnant with her first child at the age of fourteen, yes I said first. She grew up fast, just like you said instead of football games it was cartoons and sitcoms. Very good read, look forward to many more.
ReplyDeleteMost people don't really take time in understanding this issue and it's sad to say teenage parents are actually getting younger and younger. You did a really good job on your blog and I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be somewhat of a bitter-sweet situation. You are a wonderful mother for helping your daughter through this hard time in her life. A lot of teen mothers don't have the support they need to still make something of their lives. Good for you for telling everyone to leave her be, so that she could make the decisions about her child on her own. You would never want her to go through life wondering what it would be like had she had made her own decision, rather than listening to what everyone else thought. It's too bad that the father of the baby isn't doing his part in raising the child. He is missing out on a lot of smiles and laughs. He doesn't sound like the kind of person your daughter needs in her life right now, but I could be wrong. I can't base my whole opinion on him just over two blogs. Hopefully he will grow up soon and start acting like a father to his son. From what you said, she seems to be adjusting very well to motherhood and her son is very lucky to have her as a mother. You sould encourage her to try to make new friends. Remind her that its always hard in high school because everyone already knows eachother, but after high school is when she will meet her life-long friends. Encourage her to meet others girls who are in similar situations - there are quite a few out there. If her old friends were true friends then they wouldn't stop talking to her just because her life has changed. Instead, they would be even more supportive than before. She deserves to have better people in her life. Best of luck to you and your daughter and remember that everything happens for a reason! Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you made the wrong decision, and tell your daughter the same.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have been a good mom and because of that, she has learned how to be a good mother. Maybe there are teen mom groups that your daughter could join. It would be nice if she could meet some girls that can relate with her. From what you have told us I,feel like your daughter will be well adjusted because of all her support she receives from you and her family.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tracy; finding a teen mom support group might do wonders for your daughter. As for the father, I would have to say that he is just a child and while you daughter is only a child, she can't physically be removed from your grandson like he can. For him to be any kind of father, his parents would need to be the guiding force like you are for your daughter. I love how you show all of the elements and emotions of teen parents and its effects on the entire family unit. With your support, your daughter can still make it. My friend's mother had him when she was 13. His grandmother stepped in and helped raise him. He graduated from college with a Masters, has a wife and three children and is an Engineer Manager for GM making 6 figures. Another element to think about is that when her baby turns 10, she still only 24. Her youth is not totally lost.
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